Was it worth it?

First sem at IITB, every day I found myself asking the same question. Sometimes I think I’m a pessimist, among the ones who always finds grass greener on the other side. Then I think nah, I always am looking for satisfaction, just couldn’t find it yet. So, what I’m upto now is a lookback. Maybe I’ll find my answer at the end of it.

Starting with from where it all began. It was the day JEE Advanced results were announced. I was so happy, happy coz I was satisfied, satisfied coz I was going for the best I could aspire of. After working for years for this one thing, the level of expectations was just so high. And in span of a month I was here, IIT Bombay the top rated institute in the country.

At this point I’m wondering how much should I share. Maybe should just keep it to the overview, it’s just too early to give it all. So here I go.

The first thing that changes (very positively) is the freedom you get here, no restrictions, you’re all by yourself. All what we people want since adolescence, right? The next high, anything below 1080p is crap, high speed unlimited internet (yay). Furthermore, If you like roaming around with music on, this is your place. And the most important thing, studying days are over, welcome to the chillmaxx zone. But wait, this is where I went wrong :/

First few days, I wandered around the campus, clicking pictures. Had a fad of photography those days (Thought it was a hobby, was quite a bit into it. But it faded away, so renamed it). It was after a week or so that I was just lazing around, while others were trying to catch some feel of insti. What’s wrong in that, I am here for relaxation, ain’t I? Well that impression didn’t wear off for a month and a half. My scores were pathetic till then. It was then my dearest friend started scaring me off (that’s the part when reality hits). So here I was, no acads, no co-curriculars, no sports n stuff, basically not into anything productive. Acads are something you need if you aren’t good at anything else, which was exactly the case with me. And this place, gosh it is competitive, filled with people whom you’ll find yourself admiring, some are genius, some hardworking, and the choicest are both. Although to my relief, it wasn’t too late. Acads were fine after that, but the huge plus point of the place became a let down.

Talking about friends, I’ve a lot. Some very good ones, two of them as close as brothers. Never short of people to hang out with. And Mumbai is never short of places to hang out at. Although that’s not the everyday scenario, I used to find myself bored or irritated quite frequently. Movies and tv series help to an extent, but still, there’s always a limit to it. If someone have got recommendations, I’m all ears:)

Now comes the one thing I hate the most. The part I always feared, being a mediocre. Four months here and I find myself halfway down the alley. I know that’s completely on me, but still it takes my heart a bit off this place. The effect, I don’t hate mediocrity that much now  XD

So this is it, the big picture for me and it’s totally subjective. I know many who absolutely love it here, some who just wanna runaway. I find myself somewhere in the middle, let’s see which side does the next sem drift me towards ;)